It's Nauseating How Slack I've Been...No Literally

I'm glad this blog isn't a living, breathing child; because DSS would have already filed neglect charges against me and removed it from my custody faster than you can say foster home.

Anyways, I have been super busy over the past week fighting some sort of Noro-ish virus and working.  Yes, the noro-ish virus (not officially diagnosed by a professional, just by me and various internet sites) hit me last Friday and made me waste an entire weekend by laying around.

While I thought I was knocking on death's door about this same time last week, it never answered.  So, I survived to tell the story.

All I know is, if I in fact had norovirus, that is reason #386 as to why I will never go on a cruise.  If I had to rank all of my reasons, it would be rank in the top 4 along with:

#1 - Boat Sinking

#2 Having to hang out with these people

#3 Dinners with strangers and unsolicited entertainment from the staff

Despite the fact I was unable to display my impeccable spray tan and new outfits to the general public last weekend, I did achieve 36+ hours of sleep, which does WONDERS for puffy eyes.

I'm not saying a stomach virus is replacement for rest and routine cosmetic surgery, but I will say, I've never looked so "not tired" on a Monday morning in a very, very long time - or been excited to go to work on a Monday.  Hey, I was excited to finally get out of the house.   

In Other Equally Nauseating News
As I mentioned earlier, DSS would have already intervened if this blog were a child.  And speaking of potential visits from the Dept. Social Service/Child Services...

Congratulations to Snooki!!

Snooki is apparently pregnant and possibly engaged to her guido boyfriend. Who is equally as spray tanned as she is, which is impressive and disturbing all at the same time. 

Anyways, who would have thought such monumental life moments would happen mere months after she peed all over herself on a dance floor. People grow up quick.  You know what they say, like mother like infant.  However, I pray that she will use baby wipes and diapers on the kid as opposed to perfume and double pairs of underwear like she used for herself.

Editor's Note:  The happy couple/proud parents are registered at Ultra Tan.

The House that IKEA Built

IKEA has really done it all.  And that's not necessarily a good thing.

Now you can purchase a home and assemble it yourself (with their help) for a mere $86,000.

The good news is, I don't think there are 1,000 screws and meticulous instructions.  According to IKEA, you can pretty much slap this thing together faster than a double wide.

The house can be delivered to your empty lot by a semi-truck in one or two big pieces. It arrives already constructed and partially furnished, with an IKEA bedroom, kitchen and bathroom installed. "It's your own personal euro designer flat...

This rendering isn't too impressive.

However, I would totally enjoy that living room.  I'd just never want to look at the front of my house.

I just wonder if this home can withstand the elements.  No, not a tornado.  We all know that tornadoes can demolish any structure and have a love for mobile/ready-made homes.  I'm more concerned with rain, snow, etc.  I just question how fiberboard will hold up.

So, if you've got a plot of land lying around go ahead and get one of these delivered to you.  Nothing says convenience like a pre-assembled home.